I am tired and moody today due to yesterday's gathering and also you.
I am not sure about myself, I can't really understand who am I, I can't really tell you who am I actually, but somehow I know what I want and what I don't want and don't like.
Everyone and everything is changing. You would not realise until you are really go and observe, self evaluate it.
I am actually very soft-hearted person and also very proud. You know what was on my mind before and after when every time I hit you, I beat you and I scold you? Before that I was told myself to not to hit you because I will xin tong but when something really happened which I can't accept on the spot or I can't accept I am the one who did wrong and I have to apologise first which mean 我很难会低头认错. maybe it's because I am the youngest in my house, everyone is doting me like hell so I have this bad habit and also bad temper. Sorry. Every time after hitting you, I was very very regret, trust me, I would not happy at all. I am very proud, the regret face would not show out on my face but inside my heart it is.
Since yesterday's talk with my truly best friends, I found that I am the one who did not appreciate you. And also I find that both of us are totally immature. We do not communicate and we do not solve any problem that we had before and having now. You found it very hard to talk to me, it is because every time I will find excuse to prove your opinions are wrong and I am the right one. I never give you the chance to voice out. Yes, I knew and I realised now. When the issues are there and finally either me or you want to talk about, both of us end up will show out our temper. This is immature, because when we are anger, everything we said are totally brainless.
You won't think so far as I thought. You are simple and straight. That's why I will getting double worry and sadness than you, that's why you will not understand my feeling. Sometimes, the things you never think of first, I thought. That's why we get misunderstanding we get miscommunication we fight. I know you are not good in talking, but please find a way to voice your opinions to me. Because that is very important to me and our relation.
I feel hurt and sad nowadays when I think about our things. I hardly communicate with you because I am not sure whether you understand or not what am I trying to say. It is important as well because I do not want you to get me wrong.
I am trying to find a way to solve every problems that would not make us fight and quarrel. It is tired when you know the one you love do not understands you and get you wrong. So, don't judge me before you do not understand the whole story kay. I will do the same too.
You are getting more and more important in my life, so I will have high expectation on you.
Sorry, if my temper trouble you but what I want is you and for your own good.
I really really want to talk with you more often, understand more each other. 4 months for me it's not so long for understanding each other, I believe that we will have much more time to understand more and clearly.
Baby, I will believe that being together with you is part of my right choices. I trust you that you will me my happiness, so do not let me down.
We will go through together and work hard for our relationships.
It's useless when only a person to work hard to maintain, it needs both of us.
So, lets work hard together and love each other more,
You are my everything now, and always find time to have a talk pls?
I love you, goodnight.
